Helping others to flourish spiritually is energizing. God made us so that when we build into others we reap great joy. Paul shows us this much when he says of the Thessalonians “For what is our hope, our joy, or the crown in which we will glory in the presence of our Lord Jesus when he comes? Is it not you? Indeed, you are our glory and joy.” (1 Thessalonians 2:19).
Of course he didn’t personally disciple all the Thessalonian church himself, but he started the church where they came to faith and were mentored by others, in addition to himself.
We also see Paul’s joyful disciple-making in how he speaks about Timothy to the Philippians: “I have no one else like Timothy, who genuinely cares about your welfare. All the others care only for themselves and not for what matters to Jesus Christ. But you know how Timothy has proved himself.” This kind of pride and affirmation is only comparable to that of a parent who sees their child walking, talking, and living well on their own.
But we also learn from Paul that investing so deeply in others can cause us great pain. To the legalistic Galatians he says, “My dear children, for whom I am again in the pains of childbirth until Christ is formed in you, how I wish I could be with you now and change my tone, because I am perplexed about you!” Discipleship can be perplexing and frustrating in ways that threaten to the best of us down.
With the Corinthians he strikes a similar tone, “here for this third time I am ready to come to you…for I do not seek what is yours, but you; for children are not responsible to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. I will most gladly spend and be expended for your souls.” He compares their relationship to that of a parent and a young child, where the parent is the one who gives with no expectation of receiving.
Sometimes, that’s what it’s like when your children are young and immature. The job can feel thankless in the moment, even though in the long run it’s among the most significant things a person can do.
So, making disciples can also be deeply taxing. We can’t live off the buzz from the good times alone. We need a renewable energy source – something to be expended or spent beyond our own physical and emotional energies. We require a freshness that will be there even when we are receiving nothing back.
Even when God gives us His resources, our energies will still be expended as well. I don’t believe we can help but use up our bodies and minds this side of heaven. But for us to live and serve God sustainably and effectually we need to be mostly burning through a fuel source in addition to ourselves. I like the analogy of a candle wick, which isn’t consumed though on fire, because it draws up oil or wax around itself.
The Holy Spirit is like oil or wax for us. It burns in and around us so that somehow, though combusting in service to God, we are still preserved. Here are three ways the Holy Spirit empowers us to make disciples effectively and with endurance.
1. The Holy Spirit illuminates what disciples need
The thing I find myself praying for the most in helping others grow is actionable wisdom. Put another way, I need to know how to apply God’s truth to real people and live situations. Thankfully we know from scripture, like James 1:5, this is something God is eager to give to anyone who asks.
Personal discipleship is not just the imparting of a curriculum. It is a life-on-life enterprise – relationship based. Since we are not running people through a program, this means that our teaching and investment must be reactive on some level to the circumstances that come up in people’s lives.
This doesn’t mean all our teaching is reactive. We can know in general for instance what a new believer needs to understand to walk successfully with God. We learn the basics and do our best to impart helpful knowledge to our friends.
But month to month, year to year, we must learn to rely on the Spirit. Only He can show us what it looks like to minister to people well at any given place in time. It’s ok, important even, to walk through times of confusion while we grapple with God and admit we aren’t sure what to do.
1 Thessalonians 5:14 says, “and we urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, help the weak, be patient with everyone.” Warning, encouraging, and helping are things most of us are willing to do. We may even feel competent and skilled at doing one or the other. But identifying the disheartened from the disruptive or weak person and calibrating our input accordingly – that is something which requires ongoing effort to spiritually discern.
How do we know when to challenge versus offer encouragement? How do we know when it’s finally time to draw a line on an issue instead of choosing to wait and pray? We must be consciously reliant on the Spirit to show us these things – expecting him to speak to our hearts through prayer, His Word, and the wise counsel of others.
2. The Holy Spirit pours resilient love into our hearts
God teaches us to love others. He did just that for the Thessalonians. Paul says to them, "Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another." (1 Thessalonians 3:12).
The fruit of the Spirit is love according to Galatians 5:22. And Romans 5:5 teaches that “hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”
It’s a good thing God gives us His love – because people regularly test the limits of our natural love. The love we need to give to those we disciples is a spiritual kind of love. Our natural affections won’t cut it. They just simply aren’t strong enough.
Natural love is mostly responsive to its own. It requires some kind of positive response, but spiritual love can be present even when unrequited.
Natural love can legitimately cherish people but tends to become needy or co-dependent. But spiritual love empowers, promotes, and ultimately can send people up and away if it means fulfilling the purposes of God. Like John the Baptist we must be willing to become less and less, so that others might become more and more.
Natural love can be patient under certain circumstances, but falters with time and friction. Spiritual love, however, is supernaturally renewed even after suffering great disappointments.
Paul says in Colossians 1:28-29, “He is the one we proclaim, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone fully mature in Christ. To this end I strenuously contend with all the energy Christ so powerfully works in me.”
I often read this passage and think mostly of physical stamina. In Paul’s case he had the stamina to climb mountains and withstand beatings. In my case it seems I am usually just asking God to help me make it through late nights or early mornings!
But I believe the energy of Christ imparted here was more than just physical, but also emotional. This was a regular part of Jesus’ suffering for his disciples. There was the physical pain of the cross – but there also was emotional heaviness and heartbreak. Paul caps the list of his sufferings in 2 Corinthians 11 by referencing the pressure and stress of his daily concern for the churches. This is the kind of emotional weight that comes through truly caring for others. Jesus experienced it, and so will we if we try to live the same way.
So, we need emotional stamina to disciple broken people. This is especially important because we are broken ourselves – and need God’s power and grace as much as anyone else. We need access to God’s version of love that somehow always hopes if we are going to persist to the point that we see others become complete in Christ.
God-level love is something we can pray for. Sometimes we ask God for more wisdom when what we really need is more love. We want to know what to do. But if we had God’s love for a person as a lens, then questions of how to help to them would become suddenly very clear.
3. The Holy Spirit is the agent of change in disciple’s lives
Eric Mason is a pastor and author from Philadelphia. He and his wife Yvette are the real deal and committed to personal disciple-making in their inner-city context. He says,
“Being a disciple maker often means you want more for people than they want for themselves. That’s your job. The challenge is to avoid getting impatient with how God grows them. You have to be careful not to get frustrated because only God can grow people; your teaching doesn’t grow them. That is, teaching exposes them to what they need help in. But they have to take hold of it and internalize it; then God adds the growth. God adds growth; we don’t ultimately grow people, and people don’t grow themselves.”
He goes on to say that disciple-makers must be utterly clear minded about their own role and then work hard in what they know is theirs from God to control. Consistency, teaching, praying for disciples, continuing to learn ourselves – these things are all our responsibility. But at the end of the day real spiritual growth is between each individual and God.
It’s a great and freeing thing to realize that deep change is the Holy Spirit’s business. What happens in a person’s life is simply not commensurate with our gifts or efforts.
If we believe this, then it’s objectively crazy to take much credit for our own fruit in ministry. It’s easy when successful to slowly start believing that we are the “x factor” in people’s lives. Humble people, however, who understand the role of the Holy Spirit are less likely to fall into this trap. They also avoid the brutal letdown that is sure to follow from overestimating yourself.
In summary, the Holy Spirit is the great resource God has given us in making disciples. Without the Spirit we would be like an oil-less wick, quickly charred and useless. Or like a bottle rocket that whizzes and cracks but leaves only smoke.
The Holy spirit gives us wisdom and shows us what people really need, and how to give it to them – whether it be instruction, encouragement, or loving challenge.
The Holy Spirit pours resilient love into our hearts making it so we can endure setbacks and also keep giving out more and more as we receive the opportunity.
Finally, the Holy Spirit ultimately causes the growth, relieving us of the burden of doing anything beyond planting and watering (1 Corinthians 3:6) – sharing the word and fostering the right conditions for such growth.
Armed with God’s Spirit, we can humbly but confidently engage all that God has put before us.
REFLECT: How has the Holy Spirit empowered you specifically to make disciples?
CONSIDER: What are signs that we aren’t relying on the Holy Spirit the way we should?
SHARE: What would you do this coming year, if you really believed that the Holy Spirit would work through you?